A Gatekeeper

This was a very special gate. Flanked by two low barb wires, this was a gate with a few wooden vertical planks nailed together with three orange planks that formed a triangle when the gate was closed. Only a few of us knew how to handle it – if anybody else tried to open it, it would collapse. It even washed away during heavy rains once, but we hunted it down – it was stuck around a tree about 500 meters away – and brought it back.

From the second day I came to the ashram, I sat there for hours and hours on end looking out at the mesmerizing mountains, expanse of fields, and the slushy pathway ahead. “The ashram must have a gatekeeper,” I mused as I appointed myself to the activity.

So this is where I sat for more than 15 hours daily for almost a year. Some days a stray dog who we called Pandian, and a few residents would come to give me company. But usually, other than a few volunteers who would show up now and then, the 30 odd residents who moved in and out sometimes, and a hostile neighbor who came to yell at us occasionally, for many days I would not see anyone in near vicinity. Occasionally, one or two people would come by, trying to find their way to the Poondi temple. I would immediately invite them to visit the ashram. Some would accept the invitation to my joy.

Unsuspecting “Man of the Day” 

Pointing at the empty field with two small trees (now Spanda Hall), I would earnestly explain how this would be a very busy meditation hall where thousands would visit one day. “The world’s most powerful temple will be consecrated here,” I would say with pride showing them the land where Dhyanalinga is now. After treating the person to a glass of lemon juice, I would show him the half-built Triangle Block and thatch-roofed Kaivalya Kutir and talk about Sadhguru and those 30 residents who were here to make history. Like this I would keep that person in the ashram for up to three hours. He was my unsuspecting “Man of the Day.

My most touching moment was when after seven days of being there, I opened the gate for Sadhguru. After driving into the ashram a few feet away from the gate, Sadhguru stopped the car and waited for me to close the gate. Seeing that I was looking at him, he did Namaskaram to me in a way that till date I behold that humble face and beautiful smile within me – the best I have known. Initially my seat as gatekeeper was only a small stone platform under a tree on which I could sit cross-legged. Later it was upgraded to a small thatch-roofed reception that I looked after with honor and continued to welcome visitors and talk to them about Dhyanalinga.

The Highest that Happened to Me!

It was quite a change for me. I was a hatha yoga teacher at another institution before coming here. A few residents here were actually my students. One of them had invited me for the games session with Sadhguru on the initiation day of the 13-day yoga program. “This Swami has done a lot of asana practice in his life,” I thought when I saw the way Sadhguru was bending forward. One thing led to another and I did both my yoga class and BSP within the next six months. In October ‘96, I was taken in when I read in Forest Flower that Sadhguru gave his dress to a brahmachari and sent him out as a parivrajaka. I wanted to do that so badly. But when I came to the ashram for an interview with Sadhguru on the pretext of joining Isha Yoga Teachers’ Training in February ‘97, I forgot to ask him. Instead, Sadhguru asked me what I thought about brahmacharya. I was somewhat surprised that he asked me this, but I didn’t really think much about it. He asked me to come and stay in the ashram for two months after the training. For some reason, Sadhguru took me out of the training, but those two months never ended. 

In the first five years since I moved to the ashram, I stayed at home only once for 3-4 days when I was volunteering for Sadhguru’s class in Chennai. I used to go there to sleep. The thought didn’t even occur to me to go back and live my earlier comfortable life. I had so many friends and so many students who revered me back home and I earned very good money, but what I received here was so intense that all that became a faint memory very soon. 

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On Mahashivaratri in 1998, I was initiated into brahmacharya. I am not able to articulate how overwhelmingly grateful I felt for being given this opportunity to walk the timeless path. It doesn’t happen to everybody easily. People miss it for many trivial reasons. I remember much later meeting a sadhu in his 50s. He was a pious sadhu who was walking around the country. I took him around the ashram and he asked me a lot of questions about how I found Sadhguru and what we do as brahmacharis, etc. At some point, he held my hand and started to cry. “When I was 12, the longing arose within me, and I left my home to look for a guru,” he narrated his life circumstances with so much emotion. “Till today I haven’t found a guru. I am so unfortunate. You are so fortunate that you have a guru who has created such a powerful space as Dhyanalinga and a beautiful ashram. He also feeds you. You are so fortunate,” he said a couple of times with tears flowing profusely. I was willing to support him to stay here, but for some reason he didn’t ask. He was so lost in his misery that it didn’t occur to him that Sadhguru could be his guru as well. So for me, I hold my brahmacharya as the highest I could achieve in my life.

Shopping for Dhyanalinga

It was in March ‘98. I was called to join a construction meeting. I had no idea about what was happening in terms of the Dhyanalinga construction. The only thing I knew that was even remotely connected to construction was opening the gate for lorries and tractors, and going with crow bars, etc. to help if people’s vehicles were stuck in the slushy road – something that happened frequently. Nonetheless, because Sadhguru asked, I sat for the meeting feeling totally dumb.

At the end of the meeting Sadhguru handed over to me a long list of material to purchase. I panicked, “What! Me? Shopping?! I haven’t even bought milk in the market by myself!” I was so nervous but took on the job because Sadhguru had asked. With that list in my pocket, and some cash, I went to Coimbatore on a two-wheeler to look for items that I knew nothing about.

Incidentally, within a few minutes of feeling lost on the streets of Coimbatore, I met a person there who had been my “Man of the Day,” a few months earlier. He greeted me with a huge smile and asked me what I was looking for. I couldn’t even explain to him what those items were. So he took the list from my hands and immediately separated the electrical items from the construction ones, took me around to different shops and finished my shopping for me – it seemed like nothing short of a miracle to me. Even today, we are purchasing our electrical items from the same shop. So from then on, I became the Purchase In-charge of the ashram. My three pockets were my office and my two-wheeler was the transport vehicle. I feel overwhelmed when I remember that I had the immense privilege to purchase most of the material for the Dhyanalinga construction from then on. This didn’t, however, dislodge me from my sentry duty that I equally loved.

58 Days – Life or Death 

One of the most memorable moments of my life in Isha is the completion of the dome construction. We knew to some extent that if the consecration didn’t happen within a certain time, Sadhguru wouldn’t be able to hold his body any longer. However, because of the financial crunch and Vijji Maa’s Mahasamadhi, we were quite behind schedule. Then a time came when Sadhguru said if the dome is not completed soon, he will have to leave without consecrating Dhyanalinga in this lifetime. Hearing this, we started the work on something like a war footing. As none of us had any experience of doing such things, we hired a consultant from France to expedite the work. However, he was not used to Indian work culture and was a bit harsh in handling people and situations. It so happened halfway through the construction, I had to take on the responsibility of liaising with the consultant, along with ensuring that the material supply happens on time.

As completing the dome as soon as possible meant life or death for us, we all were working with a zeal not known to many otherwise. Most days my first meal used to happen at 11 pm in the night. Finally, on the 58th day after the construction started, the dome was completed. When Sadhguru came in to place the last brick, my heart knew no better joy. We cleared the scaffolding and cleaned the dome from inside by 1 am in the night and invited Sadhguru to come and see. Sadhguru came to the dome at around 2 am. As soon as he entered, most of us couldn’t hold our tears. Sadhguru chanted “Shambho Shiva Shambho” and left after a while. Soon the dome was empty, but I couldn’t move from the place where I was standing for the next two hours. Just staring at the linga and dome with tears flowing. I had no particular thoughts or emotions; I just felt a huge emptiness within me. An emptiness that was utterly fulfilling.

The First Ever Linga Arpanam

On Nov 23, 1999, Dhyanalinga was offered to the world. We had people coming in until late night. I went to sleep at 2 am, and at 7 am Swami Nisarga asked me to go back to the temple to attend to something urgent as directed by Sadhguru. I went there in a zombie state, but seeing what was happening there, I instantly became awake and rushed in to save the situation. There were about 2000 people in and around the temple; they were shouting, throwing flowers, doing poojas, hugging the linga – all sorts of unusual things. It was totally opposite to what Sadhguru had told us the atmosphere of Dhyanalinga must be. There was another Swami who was in silence to help me.

I told him to make people sit while I stop more people from entering the dome. In 45 minutes, Swami managed to quiet people and make them sit, and here I was amidst thousands of people who were starting to fuss for having been made to wait for such a long time. Somehow the word had spread that there was a kumbha abhishekam and a new linga with the power of seven chakras had been consecrated. Around 40,000 people came to have the first darshan in those 2-3 days.

Probably because of our tenacity, the silent Swami and I were assigned to the first two weeks of Linga Arpanam. I would stand out and explain everything about Dhyanalinga to all visitors before ushering them into the dome. During the next two weeks, two Maas came to do the Linga Arpanam. “Swami, we can’t talk like you. Please, you do the talking and send them in,” they pleaded. So I gladly resumed my reception post along with the purchasing responsibility. Life went on and we had the immense privilege to see Isha growing and more and more people recognizing the possibility that Sadhguru is.

A few years later, we invited Ayyappan Guruswamis to bring their batches to Dhyanalinga, offering shower facilities to the driver and the conductors and giving each of them a cup of tea. I remember one Guruswami, who was in charge of a large number of Ayyappan swamis, was so touched by the silent temple that he stood there with a stick to discipline his batch of swamis to be silent. This Guruswami came five times to the temple, and brought two busloads of Ayyappan swamis each time.

Self Appointed Caretaker of Theerthakund

In 2007, Chandrakund, at that time called Theerthakund, opened. I remember how we didn’t have water in the kund for the first few days as we didn’t know how to keep the water clean of hair, oil, etc. Once again I became the self-appointed caretaker, this time of Theerthakund. I found ways to clean it with the help of two overseas volunteers. One of them would stand in the water for up to 2 hours till his body would turn blue with cold, but he wouldn’t come out until the water was clean.

Since we were asking people to change into a fresh set of clothes before taking a dip, most visitors couldn’t manage it. Seeing that such a powerful opportunity is being missed because of this, I went to Amenities and brought 20 dhotis that we could give to at least gents to change into. In the next six months, we got proper ladies’ gowns and wrap-around cloths for men that we see now, and separated men’s and women’s timings, and found ways to keep it clean daily.

I was involved for three years in the management of Theerthakund. With my sentry blood, I would stand at the reception and explain about the Theerthakund and Dhyanalinga to visitors. By then the number of visitors had multiplied, and there were days I stood for 16 hours continuously and spoke to people. Though it was sometimes an exhausting struggle to make things happen, it gives me immense joy and satisfaction to see today how devotees now throng to Dhyanalinga and Theerthakund and what they receive from the space. 

So my sentry job… that continues in so many ways even today. One day the management of Kayanta Sthanam also came upon me –something that I am doing today along with welcoming guests to Dhyanalinga.

The Highest That I Know

“Never say this is our temple. You should watch this dome until your last breath,” Sadhguru had once told me. So this is what I mainly do. Every day when I go to the temple, I look around and make note of what needs to be mended, see to it that devotees are being treated gracefully, and help on busy days. Not once have I felt disturbed or lost my balance because of what devotees or anyone else does – I feel my life is fulfilled.

Each time I enter Dhyanalinga, I feel Sadhguru himself is sitting there, so I watch my every step, my every action in the space of Dhyanalinga accordingly. Sadhguru sitting there is not an imagination for me; it is a truth. Once an elderly man came to me after sitting in Dhyanalinga for some time and asked, “Who is this Muni with the beard sitting in the center?” I was astonished to see how sharp this man’s perception was. Dhyanalinga is the highest that I know.

I remember when Sadhguru fell down after the Dhyanalinga consecration, I couldn’t stop crying. “How will I now walk the path? Who will see me through? What will happen to my spiritual journey?” were the questions that my mind was struggling with. Then I saw Dhyanalinga standing there as a large being – I knew I would never lose my GURU. I feel blessed that I have the opportunity to serve my Guru until I fall dead. What more can I want from life?