The Truth about Lying

Sadhguru answers a question on speaking the truth and telling lies.
The Truth about Lying
 

Questioner: Sadhguru, in Tamil, there is a saying that goes something like, “There is no one who ruined himself by speaking truth. There is no one who lived well by speaking lies.” Is this true?

Sadhguru: First, we must define truth and lie. Are we only talking about verbal truth in the sense of rendering facts, or are we talking about truth as a life nourisher? Definitely truth nourishes life. Lies pull down life. In that context, the saying is 100% true. But if you look at it as verbal truth and verbal lies – rendering facts is not everything. Truth means seeing the real context and meaning of what is there now. By expressing truth, definitely no one will get lost. By continuously telling lies, no one will prosper.

Some extreme life-or-death situation may compel someone to tell a lie, and they may get away with it. But if you make lying your philosophy or habit, you will pay for it. Even for a single lie, you will pay. One cannot build a life on untruth – it will definitely not work.

When you are constantly telling lies, after some time, it will leave your mind completely disoriented. If I do not misinterpret what happened yesterday, I will simply recollect the facts. If I forgot what happened, I can ask someone who was around at that time. But if I am intentionally telling lies, if I tell you one thing today, and I tell someone else another thing tomorrow, then the day after tomorrow, I may not know anymore what exactly I told you or the other person. Telling lies leaves you in a state of disarray within yourself.

Saying things as you see them does not take any effort; it does not take a lot of thought process. But telling even a simple lie takes an unnecessary amount of thought process, which is wasteful and disorienting. If you keep lying, over a period of time, you will lose your basic faculties of handling any aspect of life. Sometimes by lying, you may have an unfair advantage over someone else, but if you make that your way of life, definitely you will pay for it.

This article is based on an excerpt from the June 2014 issue of Forest Flower. Pay what you want and download. (set ‘0’ for free). Print subscriptions are also available.

 
 
 
 
 
 
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5 years 5 months ago

My grandmother used to say; lie only when it is in your favor for the good and swear only when you see that there is no other way out. I guess these sayings were formed in those days of undermining by the Brittains.

Even i have lied, can't deny that! But never harmed others or myself with it. some people are expert liars.

5 years 5 months ago

Namaskaram Sadhguru....but the truth is that most people truly think lying is the only way to survive here. ...those who standby the truth all the time are great sufferers but still it is wonderful to stick to truth all the time.

5 years 5 months ago

The topic is in the context of life and not survival to support our physical existence. And, living in truth should not cause suffering unless one begins to compare and contrast what s/he is getting out of the materialistic surroundings.

4 years 6 months ago

Ultimately Truth prevails, may be after lots n lots of twists & turns on the way building mutual trust and confidence leading to peace & prosperity.

3 years 11 months ago

WHITE LIE & ITS STRUCTURE
I used to white lie, when the truth is harsh and can hurt the listener. That was when I was in my teens and in my early twenties. The white lie took this form: "Because my family doesn't allow that, I don't do it." Herein, and are variables and of course, the same in a statement. This was quite a popular one at that time in my circles, and so, was easily identified by anyone as a white lie. It is to in fact convey the listener that I'm n't comfortable getting into what I had stated just then WITH THEM. To be precise, I would do that, but certainly uninterested in doing it up with the listener. Okay, for easy comprehension, here's an instance: my friend told me that his Granny doesn't want him to accept gifts. WHAT HE ACTUALLY MEANS IS... "HE WOULD ACCEPT GIFTS, BUT NOT FROM ME." A person of that age isn't monitored by any Granny. So when Granny is pulled into the scene, you ought to know that they're better off having you away in that matter. Got it!

BIG REGRET!
Now, I sincerely regret for having had such a stupid habit, for I forgetfully white lied to someone who isn't expected to understand that. So, I was a liar to their eyes. Now these people have their own stories of me making rounds.

JUST WANNA SHARE THE STORY UP...
THE TRUTH FIRST...
My paternal Grandpa didn't want me to post my pics online and I myself had no issues with that. He also didn't want me to forge friendships with strangers, which too was totally in sync with my policy. Otherwise, my family doesn't meddle with the choices I make about my life online.

MY EXPERIENCE OF PEOPLE IN THE REAL WORLD...
# I have largely been looked down upon for I'm not as successful as many others of my age. By 2008, when I had finished my polytechnic course, an aunt commented right in front me that I'm n't fit for an engineering course, and another called me "just a diploma holder". The humiliating thing is not that, but they fear that my state in the society/academic sphere is making me jealous of their kids i.e. my cousins. So, whenever their kids have an issue, they come to me and cry, hoping to ward off my evil eye. THE REALITY IS THAT I'VE NEVER EVER COMPARED MYSELF WITH ANYBODY FOR ANYTHING, AS MY PATERNAL GRANDPA PUT INTO MY SOFT BRAIN AGED 9.5 YEARS THEN THAT NOBODY NEEDS TO MATTER TO ME. When I wassorry to have lost my first rank to another girl when passing class 4, he told me that he was bothered only about me and that I too need to think of just me. He lit the lamp then itself. The light is always alive. But, these aunts/uncles/cousins often feel I'm jealous of their virtues. Total non-sense!
# I also came across souls that though didn't think so... cheap of me, yet were kinda proud. I can't stand them for

3 years 11 months ago

THE PRICE OF WHITE LYING
SKELETON OF MY WHITE LIE
I used to white lie, when the truth is harsh and can hurt the listener. When I was in my teens and in my early twenties, the white lie took this form: "Because my family doesn't allow that, I don't do it." Herein, and are variables and of course, the same in a statement. This was quite a popular one at that time in my circles, and so, was easily identified by anyone as a white lie. It is to in fact convey the listener that I'm n't comfortable getting into what I had stated just then WITH THEM. To be precise, I would do that, but certainly uninterested in doing it up with the listener. Okay, for easy comprehension, here's an instance: my friend told me that his Granny doesn't want him to accept gifts. WHAT HE ACTUALLY MEANS IS... "HE WOULD ACCEPT GIFTS, BUT NOT FROM ME." A person of that age isn't monitored by any Granny. So when Granny is pulled into the scene, you ought to know that they're better off having you away in that matter. Got it!

BIG REGRET!
Now, I sincerely regret for having had such a stupid habit, for I forgetfully white lied to someone who isn't expected to understand that. So, I was a liar to their eyes. Now these people have their own stories of me making rounds. THE WHITE LIE IN THIS CONTEXT WAS... "BECAUSE MY FAMILY DISALLOWS ONLINE SOCIAL MEDIA, I'M NOT INTO SUCH PLATFORMS."

JUST WANNA SHARE MY STORY...
THE TRUTH FROM THE CORE
My paternal Grandpa didn't want me to post my pics online and I myself had no issues with that. He also didn't want me to forge friendships with strangers, which too was totally in sync with my policy. Otherwise, my family doesn't meddle with the choices I make about my online life.

MY EXPERIENCE OF PEOPLE IN THE REAL WORLD
# I have largely been looked down upon for I'm not as successful as many others of my age. By 2008, when I had finished my polytechnic course, an aunt commented right in front me that I'm n't fit for an engineering course, and another called me "just a diploma holder". The humiliating thing is not that, but they fear that my state in the society/academic sphere is making me jealous of their kids i.e. my cousins. So, whenever their kids have an issue, they come to me and cry, hoping to ward off my evil eye. THE REALITY IS THAT I'VE NEVER EVER COMPARED MYSELF WITH ANYBODY FOR ANYTHING, AS MY PATERNAL GRANDPA PUT INTO MY SOFT BRAIN AGED 9.5 YEARS THEN THAT NOBODY NEEDS TO MATTER TO ME. When I was terribly sorry to have lost my first rank to another girl when passing class 4, he told me that he was bothered only about me and that I too need to think of just me. He had the lamp lit and the light is all alive since then. But, these relatives often feel I'm jealous of their virtues. Total non-sense!
# I also came across souls that though didn't think so... cheap of me, yet were kinda arrogant, a stage where pride is a strong ego. I can't stand them for long either.
# I have experienced much criticism on various grounds. For example, I'm a homebody and explores a city or any place only to the extent needed. So, people that wanna have some fun pulling my leg declare themselves that I know not to go beyond 3 km from my house, when I'm better in navigating my place than that.
# I'm an alumna of a Government School. That sometimes makes for some people's cheap attitude towards me. They talk ill of my school's facilities, for that's the function of their poor heads. Its disgusting to digest for me. In reality, my school "Kendriya Vidyalaya" is identified as one of the top education brands in the nation. Even otherwise, for each one of us, our school's the best for its the source of our knowledge, wisdom and what we are. I often wonder why such silly comments are made to me.
# Next come a class of people that are of a special kind: ANTI-ISHA and ANTI-SADHGURU Commenters! As I look at them, I wish they soon evolve. I never ever make a negative comment on any of their spiritual masters/practices, but these sweet people tend to ascribe my every thought and even any/all of my silly deeds to Isha/Sadhguru.
# Then comes the group of great investigators on the planet. Just joking! The super inquisitive kind, whom I can't breathe with ever.
# The bunch of beautiful souls that follow me for favours just drive me crazy.
# The super good angels that I fear the most are "Dhuryodhans" of today. These loving and giving lives do that sincerely only to have the receivers follow them like lost puppies. UNDOUBTEDLY, LIFE MINUS GRATITUDE IS AN UNWISE WAY OF LIFE. But, to end up waging their wars, isn't a good sign.
# This kinda people don't stop with probing questions, but have their queries probe personalities of people. A person of this type probes my personality way too much to arrive at a good-for-nothing pen portrait of mine in their mind. This is solely done to decide whether to be friends with me or not. I don't understand this in any way, for this isn't the way I find a friend.
# THE BACKBITING KIND! As author Bruce Kasanoff put it on one of his decks on SlideShare, people are eager to tell others about themselves if they know they're genuinely being heard. I'm no exception. But this class of people won't ask you straight and even if it does, your responses will be majorily used to malign you. In my experience, they get across their queries/opinions indirectly or have a loyal "Karna" hired to fire their useless questions at me. The worst of their techniques of "conversation" is getting me literally provoked by creating situations. WISH SADHGURU'S GRACE AND STRENGTH TO SAIL THROUGH THIS LIFE...

SO, ULTIMATELY...
I don't want any of these lives much. I spend my time the least with these people and when I do, I exercise much caution. Certainly, my digital life doesn't include these. ALSO, if a few relatives/friends are problematic, I can't have others (who relate to me the same way) as well on board with me.

MY SOCIAL LIFE ONLINE...
Digit was my favourite tech mag, when I was in my polytechnic. On one of the editorials, then Ed Deepak Ajwani talked on online social platforms then. At that time, Orkut was the youthful thing. He criticized how people were bragging about the number of friends they had made online, when a person living under the same roof had problems with them. It touched me deeply, for I had by then experienced much of the aforesaid ill-treatment. I decided not to enter any with the intention of making such self-promotion.

Then, influenced by a PCMech-newsletter (by email), I joined a popular social network in 2008. I couldn't decipher immediately how to go about it. After a while, I protected my profile, for then I wasn't okay with the "following."

In 2009, FB had grown up to be the rage. People were calling me in, but I didn't wanna get in. I felt better off keeping much people away, for many had gone scary already. By then a gentleman buddy sent me an invite and that coincided with another PCMech-newsletter praising FB apps. I was more into programming then. This coincidence let me get in with my pet name as first name and "Dear" as my last name. I thought this is enough to keep all known ones away, but that wasn't so, as I had used my primary email for registration. I realized this the very minute I had logged in. I created a new email in the next few minutes and did the necessary changes. But that wasn't going to effect two people who had already sent invites to me. I thought they would understand that I didn't want them there and will leave by themselves. One did; but the other persisted that I received a message! I was confused. Thinking the person to be so innocent to accept my white lie as truth, I felt sorry to have white lied outside of my circle. Then only to not hurt the persisting person, I dashed out an email as if my white lie was a truth and deactivated the account. BUT NOW... this person turned against me in such an awful manner that I can never ever forget. She told an aunt of mine of my only FB friend and had called my deactivation an act to cover up my short life(5 days) on FB, as I've always said I'm n't on any social platform.

I TELL EVERYONE THAT I'M N'T ON ANY SOCIAL PLATFORM. IT IS SO BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS HARSH:
I'M N'T CHOOSY, BUT TERRIBLY CHOOSY ABOUT TAKING REAL LIFE PEOPLE ONLINE THAT I ONLY HAVE SADHGURU ON MOST PLATFORMS FROM REAL LIFE. My only FB friend and I have the least number of common friends; and cause he's a gem of a man, I thought of exploring FB plus its apps with him.

But, never thought people would be so stupid that they would gift me life lessons. My aunt too sided with this person and took my FB buddy's name to provoke me to talk on him. I kept my mouth shut. Months passed; but one day, I felt still they had this little thing in their head. So, I sent out emails to these ladies that I'm hurt and that I quit their lives in every way. In less than a fortnight's time, they created a situation in my house to make me feel sorry for the emails I had sent. They had also staged the drama to ensure themselves that I don't take my painful experience to elders and some key relatives, for that can hamper their family's well-being. This I would call an irrational fear for I'm n't of their kind: backbiting and villainous. I talk to people on their face. I have been taught by my late Grandpa that the dead can't defend themselves, so you don't talk ill of the dead. I feel the same goes with the living too. ONE SHOULDN'T TALK ILL OF OTHERS IN THEIR ABSENCE FOR THEY CAN'T DEFEND THEMSELVES THEN. IT IS NOW SO THAT I'M DOING IT IN THEIR ABSENCE, BUT I'M N'T REVEALING THEIR IDENTITIES AND MALIGNING THEM THAT THEY NEED TO DEFEND THEM. You may have them sitting next to you now and you don't know that I'm talking about them. But these people I know for sure are taking the story to more and more, causing me to face more cheap looks and stares, for my white lie is now a lie TO THEM. I know not in what version their story is now. Only Sadhguru knows the pain I'm going through. Why do these people stare? Do they think they know all about someone just by someone's experience with them? Ridiculous. BLESSED TO HAVE SADHGURU. I'm n't like these now. I was so in my adolescence, not now. I once read Sadhguru asking not to judge those that are silent, for one doesn't know their true strength. I'm n't calling myself that silent-n-strong one that Sadhguru had talked of, but now have a new take on people's personality: KNOW NOT WHAT EVERY LIFE IS MADE OF, SO ITS BETTER NOT TO CONCEIVE NOTIONS OF ANY KIND, FOR THAT'S MOST LIKELY TO BE FALSE.

SADHGURU'S GRACE AND THE SADHANA JUST MAKE ME KNOW MORE AND MORE OF LIFE. UTMOST TIMES, MY PERCEPTION OF LIFE IS ASTONISHING. I REGRET FOR THE WHITE LYING SO... MUCH THAT NOW, I DON'T MIND STATING FACTS STRAIGHT HOWSOEVER HARSH THEY MAY BE. Of course, I would tell my listeners that I don't intend to hurt them. LEMME NOW PUT IT FIRST HERE AT MY DEV SADHGURU'S FEET FIRST...
"I'm on a few online social platforms. I don't talk much on that; as I'm not quite, but badly choosy about whom I spend time with online. Every life enjoys my concern, but it takes something to earn my interest. A sense of likemindedness will mostly do for people I meet online. But to meet someone from real life there, a very strong sense of inclusiveness matters."