Weeding out the Lies

On this Spot, Sadhguru addresses the question of truthfulness, trust, and taking responsibility for one’s actions, not from a moralistic standpoint but in terms of what ultimately works best. He says, “Being truthful and building trust is not a question of morality. It is the most sensible and effective way to live.”
 
Weeding out the Lies
 
 
 

Over the years, I have been observing that in their enthusiasm to come to the Isha Yoga Center, unfortunately, a few people lie about where they are going. This is just one of many examples of people lying to their family, spouse, boss, and whoever else is around them, on a daily basis. When you make lying a part of your life, having harmonious relationships is difficult. In any relationship, it is absolutely important to weed out the lies. Only then can you have a beautiful relationship. If you lie even once, they will start doubting anything you say. People lie because they do not have the courage to face a little bit of unpleasantness that may arise from telling the truth. Please face this unpleasantness.

When you make lying a part of your life, having harmonious relationships is difficult.

If, after some consideration, you decided you want to do something and someone around you is against it, assert that you are going to do this. If you tell the truth, there may be some friction, but there will be a relationship, respect, and regard. When you are lying because you want to avoid unpleasant reactions, it will ruin the relationship. They will not know anymore if what you are saying is the truth or a lie. It will become an endless struggle within the other person, and in turn in the relationship. Therefore, tell the truth. It is important to stand up for what matters to you. Especially when it comes to yoga, you are doing something for your wellbeing. Standing up for yourself is good for you, for your relationships, and also for yoga. Initially, people around you may be upset, but after some time, it will settle. At least they will know they can trust you.

People lie because they do not have the courage to face a little bit of unpleasantness.

Trust is a fragile thing. If someone trusts you one hundred percent, in a way, they are making themselves vulnerable to you. They allow you to get close to them. That is why if you break the trust in some way, it is going to hurt them. Another aspect is – how effective you are in the world depends on the amount of trust you have earned. Even with the greatest intelligence, capability, and knowledge, if you do not earn the trust of people around you, they will not let you create anything in the world. One of the simplest ways to earn trust is to be straight. Whether what you did was right or wrong, smart or stupid – be straight. Initially, it may be uncomfortable. But after some time, once people see that whatever you do, you are willing to own up to it, trust develops.

If you earn the trust of ten people, in some way, you have the strength of ten people. If you earn the trust of a million people, in some way, you have the strength of a million people. All of us should take every possible care to build and preserve trust. Breaking trust is easy – fixing it, not so much. When trust is damaged, the first thing is to own up to what you have done, rather than finding devious ways to hide it. If you take responsibility for your action and establish for yourself and people around you how you will be in the future, there is a chance to rebuild trust. But if you repeatedly break people’s trust, no one will be with you. It is not just about maintaining good relationships with others. Only if people trust you can you create something in the world. Being truthful and building trust is not a question of morality. It is the most sensible and effective way to live.

Love & Grace

 
 
 
 
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3 years 5 months ago

Sadhguru, pranam. Weeding out the lies really makes strong relationships, I believe in it and I follow it. But now a days when a new member arrives into a family after marriage people are thinking that the girl has come in between of their lives so they hide and keep secrets in order to not reveal the truth about their pasts and never tries to accept her which ultimately leads to creating lies. So they start to lie from the start of the marriage. Suppose the girl is unaware of the new people and their nature, will obviously think its the truth because she has become one of the family members and has to start trusting them. But when the truth comes out she obviously losses trust on them. Sadhguru how to built back the trust on those liars?

3 years 5 months ago

What to do if someone has lost trust in Sadhguru and Isha. He says that after joining Isha the troubles in his life had increased, rather multiplied especially the health issues.. He was very passionately doing his practices. He bought Guddi but he had to undergo major surgery after which he had to give up his spiritual practices due to constant back pain and other post surgery complications. He became member of Ishanga and after few months he lost his job. He says that he never received Sadhguru's grace in his life despite following all his instructions with utmost faith and devotion and none of the volunteers replied to his e mails and talked to him when he was going thru the mist difficult phase of his life..

3 years 5 months ago

We are saddened to hear about this person's experience. As you know, there is a background and baggage specific to each individual. The practices are done with the assumption of basic sincerity and diligence. Thus, in an individual context, there are many variables to be considered. It might even be that thanks to Sadhguru's Grace, his condition is not much worse than it is. Speculating with so many unknown variables is bound to lead to (possibly wrong) conclusions. Above all, the way of existence is not necessarily in compliance to our expectations. That said, the Master's Grace is ever flowing, and if you ask this person to write to us at nppanel@ishafoundation.org, we can look at how best to support him further.

3 years 5 months ago

I had also met an accident just 3 days after the initiation after which I went through 2 surgeries in a gap of 6 months. However, with the grace of Sadhguru, I didn't suffer mentally. I had a rod, a plate and a few bone screws drilled in my wrist but it brought me only physical pain. I was absolutely balanced as if nothing had happened. I had to skip my mid-semester exam in IIT Kanpur. The institute is known for tough academics. However, instead of getting bogged down, I gave the final exams covering the syllabus of a whole semester in a matter of a week. I neither ate a full meal, nor did I sleep for a week. I could not just pass but got good grades in the end.
I went for BSP instead of doing an internship and went for volunteering in the ashram instead of sitting for placements. Many times I have made nearly 70 hours journeys to ashram from my home in Uttarakhand. When I look back, I don't believe that it was me who did all this. How did I gather so much courage to make these decisions? It is definitely not me. It is his grace.
In a sathsang in Delhi, Sadhguru even hinted me that suffering is going to come. He even indicated what's going to happen pointing his finger at me and gave a teaching. I could understand the teaching when the event actually happened a few months later.
Many bad situations have come to my life but I always had trust on my guru. I had to suffer many situations but every time I came out of those situations as a completely transformed person changed for the better. If it was all pleasant, I would never be the person I am.
Every bad situation in my life is an opportunity to grow. Tell your friend that he is not alone. I have some relatives who had to undergo some kind of pain a few days after initiation by their gurus. I see that it is quite common. Sadhguru has also talked about it somewhere. Your friend should see all the suffering as an opportunity to grow spiritually.