The Meaning of True Love – Taking Love Beyond Words

Looking at the meaning of true love, Sadhguru gives us a powerful process for taking love beyond words to make it an enduring quality within.
The Meaning of True Love – Taking Love Beyond Words
 

Looking at the meaning of true love, Sadhguru gives us a powerful process to take love beyond words and make it an enduring quality within.

Sadhguru: The English expression, “Falling in love,” is significant because no one rises in love or climbs in love. You fall in love, because something of who you are has to go. If not the whole of you, at least a part of you should collapse. Only then there is a love affair. You are willing to destroy a bit of yourself for the sake of the other. It essentially means someone else has become far more important than yourself.

Love is not a mutual benefit scheme


Unfortunately, what most people call "love" is just a mutual benefit scheme.

One day, a man named Shankaran Pillai went to a park. There was a pretty woman sitting on a stone bench there. He went and settled down on the same bench. After a few minutes, he moved a little closer to her. She moved away. Again, he waited for a few minutes and inched a little closer to her. She moved away. He waited again, and then inched even closer. By then she had moved to the very end of the bench. He reached out and put his hand on her. She shrugged him off. He sat there for a while, then went down on his knees, plucked a flower, gave it to her and said, “I love you. I love you like I have never loved anybody in my life.”

She melted. Nature took over and they had their way with each other. It was getting late in the evening; Shankaran Pillai got up and he said, “I need to leave. It’s eight o’clock. My wife will be waiting.”

She said, “What? You’re leaving? You just said you loved me!”

“Yes, but it’s time. I need to go.”

If you can look at everything lovingly, the whole world becomes beautiful in your experience. You realize love is not something that you do; love is the way you are

Generally, we have made relationships within frameworks that are comfortable and profitable for us. People have physical, psychological, emotional, financial or social needs. One of the best ways to fulfill these needs is to tell people, “I love you.” This so-called “love” has become like a mantra: open sesame. You try to get what you want by saying it.

Every action that we do is in some way to fulfill certain needs. If you see this, there is a possibility that you can grow into love as your natural quality. But people go on fooling themselves into believing that the relationships they have made for convenience, comfort and wellbeing, are actually relationships of love. I am not saying there is no experience of love at all in those relationships, but it is within certain limitations. It does not matter how much “I love you” has been said, if a few expectations and requisites are not fulfilled, things will fall apart.

The meaning of true love

 

 

When you talk about love, it has to be unconditional. There is really no such thing as conditional love and unconditional love. It is just that there are conditions and there is love. The moment there is a condition, it just amounts to a transaction. Maybe a convenient transaction, maybe a good arrangement – maybe many people made excellent arrangements in life – but that will not fulfill you; that will not transport you to another dimension. It is just convenient.

When you say “love,” it need not necessarily be convenient; most of the time it is not. It takes life. Love is not a great thing to do, because it eats you up. If you have to be in love, you should not be. You as a person must be willing to fall, only then it can happen. If your personality is kept strong in the process, it is just a convenient situation, that’s all. We need to recognize what is a transaction and what is truly a love affair. A love affair need not be with any particular person; you could be having a great love affair, not with anybody in particular, but with life.

What you do, what you do not do, is according to circumstances around you. Our actions are as the external situation demands. What you do outside of yourself is always subject to many conditions. But love is an inner state – how you are within yourself can definitely be unconditional.

Make love your quality

When you talk about love, it has to be unconditional. There is really no such thing as conditional love and unconditional love

If you are life, it is very natural to love. Every human being is capable of love but unfortunately, many have crippled themselves with all kinds of belief systems, opinions, philosophies, ideologies - everything except life.

Love is not imported from heaven

People either profess to love God or believe God loves them. The assumption is that love is a quality that needs to be imported from Heaven. But does anyone really know whether God loves or not? We bow down to whoever created this grand creation – a creation that boggles the mind. We bow down to the creator, but you don’t know whether he is love or joy or peace.

Love is a human emotion

Human beings are capable of love when they are willing. Unfortunately, we want to export everything that is beautiful in our life to heaven and live wantonly on this planet. Love, joy, blissfulness – these are human possibilities.

A simple process

Love is not something to do with someone else. Love is never between two people. It is what happens within you, and what happens within you need not be enslaved to someone else. For 15 to 20 minutes daily, go sit with something that means nothing to you – maybe a tree, or a pebble, or a worm or an insect. After some time, you will find you can look upon it with as much love as you do your wife or husband or your mother or your child. Maybe the worm does not know this. That doesn’t matter. If you can look at everything lovingly, the whole world becomes beautiful in your experience. You realize love is not something that you do; love is the way you are.

Editor’s Note: Don't forget to check out the DVD "Love – A Chemical Hijack", where Sadhguru and renowned filmmaker Shekhar Kapur explore the different dimensions of love.

 
 
 
 
  23 Comments
 
 
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3 years 6 months ago

If a human being decides to be truly honest with himself then I don't think there will be any relationship on earth. traditionally what we all know love is nothing but a physical, psychological or emotional pool which we feel towards the other and when the other reciprocate the same we call them relationship. It hurts to admit that all relationships in life are conditional, just few up downs and all will go astray. From my own experience the only reason we don't love truly because for all of us love is a need not a sharing. We all think the other will complete us. But when u are on a spiritual path when u seek u realise that only a person who has the capacity to be alone , live alone can love truly not otherwise. Rest are just an escape from your loneliness.

4 years 5 months ago

love is great feeling i love you

3 years 6 months ago

True.who has the capacity to live alone can truely love. Fully agree

5 years 10 months ago

This clears all the questions that I have about human relations. I am sure anyone who reads this will get out of the blurry image of what society thinks "love" is. I believe any one who understands this and does a self check on their relationships will surely be happy and make their relations prosper. I never came across anyone who can explain things as simply and as clearly as Sadhguru does. I am going to keep his words in my heart and see how I can implement those in my life to make myself and people around me happy. Feeling blessed to have tasted a drop of Isha!!

4 years 5 months ago

I deem it's our good luck to have such these enlightening ideas about love!!!
love is not what you do love is the way you are.
I BOW AT YOUR FEET , SADhguru mahraj ji

3 years 5 months ago

Me & a buddy of mine, both scarred by divorce, had a long discussion about relationships and women in general last night. Both us males, me long before him decided that relationships, intimate ones, are no longer a priority in our lives, simply because me personally, does not really know what "true love" is. I realized just recently, I never did. And a lot of these women, not all, but a lot, have no idea either. I Googled, "what is the meaning of true love?", and came across this discussion. I must be thinking right because just about everything the author of this writing said is the way I now feel about "true love". We don't want "true love". We want people who will "cater" to our needs, self centered wants, destructive insecurities. And if they don't live up to what we "need" from them, it does not matter what "they" need. We selfishly make their lives miserable until we finally just walk away and abandon them, and by the way, I want the house, the car, the kids, and the bank account.

That's not "true love". That's not even love. It's selfishness. And unfortunately, that's what guides a lot of people these days in not just intimate relationships but relationships in general.

The author's writing confirms both me and my buddy's decision, but especially me, to live our lives absent of so called "intimate relationships.

I agree 100%! It is important to just love yourself and treat your life like it is golden. I have finally learned this lesson at the ripe old age of 59. I work, do, and live for myself now and I have no room for anybody that wants to bring confusion, disfunction, and negative drama to my life. And this is especially true of women who "think" they'd like a relationship with me, but in reality is looking for nothing more than a "yes man" to compliment "them", not each other.

What is "true love"? I don't know. I'm not sure I even care anymore. I have reached the conclusion that true love is to love yourself unconditionally. And if you're really lucky enough to find a partner that feels the same way, then maybe you have a chance, because only then, when both of you have that "solid foundation", do you have the appreciation of each other, and the true support you need to get through life's
ups & downs. Together.

5 years 9 months ago

I read this in the early morning time, Every point written here is so very important for my life at this time. If an except was so much interesting, I can't wait to read the book "Three Truths of Well Being"

4 years 5 months ago

Love should be equal to all

5 years 8 months ago

love is happy for you

4 years 3 months ago

"When u talk about love . It has to be unconditional. " So, my husband doesn't love me unconditionally?i think his not. To the point, he wants me to be a Registered nurse so i can be valuable wife. And to the point his sister insulted me and he did not say anything or protected me about it. Im confuse. I want to think that he loves me unconditionally but i dont feel it. He is 46yrs old and im 26.

5 years 8 months ago

oooh....how to express gratitude to my master???....sometimes I wonder and fear because I am certain this one tiny life of mine can certainly not be sufficient to express my gratitude..so will I have to come back just for this and if that is the case...how many more millions...I wonder and even then, not sure if I will ever be able to pour out my gratitude..it is just bubbling and overflowing all the time like flood....i want this flood to be on no matter how long Sadhguru...Please bless me to keep this on...that is all.

4 years 2 months ago

Two of the pictures are nice - the one with the fingers and the the one with the cat and the dog. Wonder from where you got those!

5 years 3 months ago

Words that goes straight to the heart

4 years 2 months ago

Feeling angry or sad about what a partner has done to another partner won't change the fact what about what has happened. Why should one's feeling be dictated by the actions of someone else.

5 years 3 months ago

Oh creator you have set such a game of love dont know way out. I think time for guru

5 years 1 month ago

wow this is very right and helpful to us that need to love...not just words but action

3 years 9 months ago

Yes, because love does not mean that you will never he hurt or betrayed. Love is how YOU feel not how your beloved behaves.

3 years 9 months ago

Yes Love is everything. There is nothing other than love.So love expects nothing .Love could be towards beings or the so called non beings.If you use your mind it is not love.

3 years 6 months ago

It seems that love is similar to duty. When one has to do their duty, (whether it is to society, professsion, family or towards oneself), they have to do all kinds of things with all kinds of people, whether they like it or not?
If that is what love is, then there is hardly any joy got from it. How can you love anyone knowing the true business nature of eveyone. Can such artifical show of love (even though given without any intention of benefit) ever give us joy or bliss?

4 years 6 months ago

When you talk about love, it has to be unconditional. There is really no such thing as conditional love and unconditional love