Weeding out the Lies
On this Spot, Sadhguru addresses the question of truthfulness, trust, and taking responsibility for one’s actions, not from a moralistic standpoint but in terms of what ultimately works best. He says, “Being truthful and building trust is not a question of morality. It is the most sensible and effective way to live.”
O ver the years, I have been observing that in their enthusiasm to come to the Isha Yoga Center, unfortunately, a few people lie about where they are going. This is just one of many examples of people lying to their family, spouse, boss, and whoever else is around them, on a daily basis. When you make lying a part of your life, having harmonious relationships is difficult. In any relationship, it is absolutely important to weed out the lies. Only then can you have a beautiful relationship. If you lie even once, they will start doubting anything you say. People lie because they do not have the courage to face a little bit of unpleasantness that may arise from telling the truth. Please face this unpleasantness.
If, after some consideration, you decided you want to do something and someone around you is against it, assert that you are going to do this. If you tell the truth, there may be some friction, but there will be a relationship, respect, and regard. When you are lying because you want to avoid unpleasant reactions, it will ruin the relationship. They will not know anymore if what you are saying is the truth or a lie. It will become an endless struggle within the other person, and in turn in the relationship. Therefore, tell the truth. It is important to stand up for what matters to you. Especially when it comes to yoga, you are doing something for your wellbeing. Standing up for yourself is good for you, for your relationships, and also for yoga. Initially, people around you may be upset, but after some time, it will settle. At least they will know they can trust you.
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Trust is a fragile thing. If someone trusts you one hundred percent, in a way, they are making themselves vulnerable to you. They allow you to get close to them. That is why if you break the trust in some way, it is going to hurt them. Another aspect is – how effective you are in the world depends on the amount of trust you have earned. Even with the greatest intelligence, capability, and knowledge, if you do not earn the trust of people around you, they will not let you create anything in the world. One of the simplest ways to earn trust is to be straight. Whether what you did was right or wrong, smart or stupid – be straight. Initially, it may be uncomfortable. But after some time, once people see that whatever you do, you are willing to own up to it, trust develops.
If you earn the trust of ten people, in some way, you have the strength of ten people. If you earn the trust of a million people, in some way, you have the strength of a million people. All of us should take every possible care to build and preserve trust. Breaking trust is easy – fixing it, not so much. When trust is damaged, the first thing is to own up to what you have done, rather than finding devious ways to hide it. If you take responsibility for your action and establish for yourself and people around you how you will be in the future, there is a chance to rebuild trust. But if you repeatedly break people’s trust, no one will be with you. It is not just about maintaining good relationships with others. Only if people trust you can you create something in the world. Being truthful and building trust is not a question of morality. It is the most sensible and effective way to live.