Motherhood and Career – Can They Go Together?
Sadhguru discusses a constant dilemma in many women’s lives today – the choice between career and family. He explains why career should not be a compulsive choice and that a woman’s value in society should not be associated with her career. Looking at the significance that motherhood carries, he relates the important role his own mother played in his life.
Juhi Chawla: I guess everybody wants to… Yes, have a laugh about something you can’t quite fix. Today, many women in our modern society are stepping out and having a career and I just like to know, what do you think of this - of women stepping out, being career people, managing home as well, being financially independent, is this good?
Sadhguru: I think… see every woman should do what she wants to do as an individual person. It should not be made into a trend in a society or the only right thing to do in the world because I think if… if a woman is… intends to have two children and raise them, I think it’s a full time job. I’m not saying she should not go out and work. If she wishes to, as an individual person, she’s free to do what she wants to do. But having two children is not about reproduction. You’re manufacturing the next generation of people. How the world will be tomorrow, will be determined by what kind of mothers you have today, believe me.
So, why is it con… you know, I’ve seen many ladies coming to me and say, when I ask “What’re you doing? “Oh I’m just a housewife.” I said, “Why do you say, you’re just a housewife?” You… you don’t u… seem to understand the significance of, you know, being able to nurture two or three new lives. It’s not… it’s not a ‘not important’ job. It’s a very important job. I’ve to say this, I… you know my… my mother never any ss… said anything much. She never went about telling me, “I love you” or “You love me” or anything of this kind. It’s just that she simply lived and we… it never occurred to us, whether she loves us, she doesn’t love us, such questions never came because her whole life was dedicated to us, you know.
Juhi Chawla: Hmm.
Sadhguru: We know she lived for us. She never said it once, but that’s all it is. And I cannot imagine that part of my life, without her being around. It is just that she never played an active role in what I am but the background that she set, without the ambience that she set for me¸ I would never be what I am, for sure. Whatever else may be within me, still the soil that she set around me, without ever interfering with who I am, what I am, just the ambience she set around me and the effort she took to set that ambience, she gave her life to set that ambience, knowing fully well it will play out somewhere. And why does anybody think this is not an important job? In my life, I feel what she did is the most important thing she did to me. And one of the most important things that have happened to me is early life you never had to think about anything. It was simply she made sure the background was simply always there, without a single thought about it, unconcerned about what’s happening around you is what gave me the possibility of sitting with my eyes closed for days on end or staring at something for hours on end. Otherwise, this wouldn’t be possible, I’m saying (Laughs).
So, career - I want you to understand… Right now because we have made the whole world into economics unfortunately women also getting as stupid as men. As if how much money you earn is going to determine the value of your life. No, it is just procurement of things that you need, money is just about that. Man was procuring, woman was taking about the more beautiful aspects of life. Now woman also wants to procure. If there is such an economic need in the family, fine she must do it. But it is not a compulsive need, it must not be set up as something better to do than doing something. If she sings so… if she… if she plays music or if she just loves her children or if she cooks beautifully or she just lives beautifully like a flower, it’s good enough, I’m saying. It is not necessary that only if she earns this much money, she’s… her… she’s doing something valuable, otherwise she’s not. If there’s an economic need, she can do it. Or if she has a passion for doing it, she can do it. But, let not such values be set up in the world because you’re not evolving, you’re regressing, you’re making survival more important than aesthetics of life (Applause).