The Beauty of Motherhood

In this week’s Spot, Sadhguru highlights the significance of family and motherhood just after Mother’s Day is celebrated in the West. “The beauty of motherhood is in inclusion. It is not because your mother reproduced you, bore you and let you out. That is not why a mother is precious. She is precious because, in many ways, she saw you as a part of herself.” Enjoy!

There are many associations we make to conduct our life process. We make associations of business, nationality, community. But among all these things, family is a fundamental association. You must understand family for what it is, and conduct it for what it is. The problem is we get overwhelmed with emotion and raise it to another place, which it is not. In many ways, my mother never tried to influence us in any way. By not wanting to influence us, she was the biggest influence. What human beings have to offer you, and what you have to offer them should not be trampled upon. But the illusions we create around them must be trampled upon, otherwise we will miss the beauty of people coming together and sharing things.

In many ways, family means “the closest association.” That means you have to constantly step on each other’s feet. When you constantly step on each other’s feet because you are sharing the same space, it brings a certain level of understanding and maturity. Suppose you have a Facebook family. You can have a family of 10,000 without any problems because you don’t have to share anything with anybody except pictures. It does not challenge you. Suppose you do not like someone on Facebook, you can just click and they are gone! That is not the case with family. One moment, they do something and you hate them, but you can’t click them away.

Family is a training ground where you rise beyond likes and dislikes.

When people stay together, either by bondage or choice, they mature because maturity happens when you rise above your likes and dislikes. There are so many things that you do not like about your parents, children, husband, wife. Initially, it irritates the hell out of you, but after some time, you rise beyond it. If you rise beyond it by giving in and saying, “The hell with it!” that will not help. But if you rise beyond it consciously, you have turned spiritual. Without intention, you have become spiritual. That is the most beautiful way to do it.

Family is a training ground where you rise beyond likes and dislikes. But because some people cannot get along with their families, they want to move into the ashram. I tell them, “If you find living with three people too challenging, you are not fit to live with 1,000 people!” If you are doing great with your family and you want to move into the ashram, that is great, you have passed the test. But if you cannot live with a few people, how are you going to live with 1,000 people?

Above all, family is very important to fulfill your physical, psychological, financial and social needs. You formed an association that you call “family” to fulfill your needs. Do not forget this. Do not suddenly act like Mother Theresa and say, “I have done so much for you.” Right now, you may feel like a sacrificial goat in the family. But everything that you do within the scope of the family need not work out just because you think they are your people -- that is just your thought. They are just people. If you give yourself totally to them and make their lives beautiful, they will yield to certain things.

[T]he beauty of motherhood is not in reproduction. The beauty of motherhood is in inclusion.

More horrible things happen within the family in terms of anger, hatred and struggles than what happens between two enemy nations. I am not saying this is right or wrong. But you made your association for your needs to be fulfilled, and now you are expecting all the life that evolved out of this family to happen the way you want it to. This does not mean all of them must turn out the way you want them to be – they will not. Just remain in gratitude and do the best you can. “But they are suffering. I don’t want them to suffer.” Yes, we don’t want them to suffer. Not just because they are your family, we don’t want anybody to suffer. It is time that you enlarge your desire to all. “I don’t want anybody to suffer.”

During the 20s, 40s and even 60s, family meant “crime” in America -- the mafia. Even today, that is what it means. I want you to understand this, what you see as evil on this planet is not coming from some devilish source. It is human beings who think, “Only these three people belong to me. The rest don’t belong to me.” It is what they perceive as wellbeing for these three people that causes all the rubbish to everything else. It may be a family, community, race, religion or nation. It is this limited perspective of life that causes all the evil on this planet, and it starts with the family. Please expand your idea of family.

Your children may have taken only one cell from you. But how much have you taken from this planet? How many cells? The whole of it, even if you cannot think beyond your biology! The planet and everything that comes out of it is more of a family than somebody who just took one cell from you. You may not like this at all, especially just after Mother’s Day, but the beauty of motherhood is not in reproduction. The beauty of motherhood is in inclusion. It is not because your mother reproduced you, bore you and let you out. That is not why a mother is precious. She is precious because, in many ways, she saw you as a part of herself. It is not the biology; it is the inclusiveness. Suppose your mother bore you and never bothered about you, she would be your worst enemy. It is not the biological process that is significant here. It is the willingness to include another life as part of yourself. It is that beauty we are trying to celebrate with Mother’s Day.

Love & Grace

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6 years 2 months ago

Humanity is your family. Love all the colours of humanity. The more people you love the more you grow.

6 years 2 months ago

motherhood can be so beautiful and fulfilling....i was totally ignorant of this aspect of deepest gratitude to Sadhguru again again for showing us the way

6 years 2 months ago

In every mothers DNA a very special strand
One that binds in infinite unconditional love
For all creatures of the deep oceans or land
A mother is always special and don't ask how.........

My humble pranams to Sadhguru

6 years 2 months ago

The beauty of Motherhood has been explained so beautifully and yet in simple words!! Amazing are your ways to awaken us to this reality...thank you!

6 years 2 months ago

He puts in such a simple words. The momemt you include other beings part of you whether you are a man or woman you become mother!! Love, peace and bliss to all.

6 years 2 months ago

best article from sadhguru......

6 years 2 months ago

thanks sadguru hope it happens to me with ur blessings

6 years 2 months ago

Vasudaiva Kutumbakam!!! Understood the meaning with your Grace.

6 years 2 months ago

Pranam Sadhguru-ji, a mother does what she can because parenting is a part of nature. No need to judge her or him (even fathers can be outstanding mothers!). I don't understand one thing; why some mothers abuse their children or curse them?
Anyway, a wonderful compilation of The Mother.

6 years 2 months ago

Thank you sadhguru for teaching valuable lesson again

6 years 2 months ago

Motherhood is a tremendous responsibility, the life in womb,
its future is mainly dependent on mothers activities during pregnancy.
Potential mothers nowadays are more inclined to drinking in name of
socialization/liberalization, with a possible life in womb which is 100% percent dependent on Mother, feeding it with alcohol of any form is most barbaric, uncultured and demonic activity. May mothers know their might and simple responsibilities alike. Pranam sadhguru.

6 years 2 months ago

Left in tears, Sadhguru ....

6 years 2 months ago

Thanks Sadhguru for explaining motherhood so beautifully. i was so ignorant of such simple things and its truly an eyeopener that put me on the track . A new perception to motherhood.

6 years 2 months ago

Shambhoo Mahadeva...

6 years 1 month ago

no words!

6 years 2 months ago

sadhguru mercy! inclusion the planet ! blossom of well-being

5 years 6 months ago

Dear Sadguru,
My wife is now in your program Culminating Shivanga Deeksha and took Training programme directly conducted by you and is now an astute follower. But she has left and is away from our two kids( from age of 2 yrs for my younger son) for the last 5 years with me and missing on the MOTHERHOOD and also depriving our SONs of the beauty and caring of mother. She has been attracted by your teachings and has been living all alone for the last 5 yrs and prefers to listen to you rather than justifying her SOUL and all the Spiritual things that you teach. In fact I only introduced her in Hyderabad for the first Inner Engineering Course at Hi tech City. Now she goes all the way to Coimbatore to undergo your programs and Mumbai to attend a personal Inner Engineering program by you whereas I have left my Software career in order to raise the Kids and give both mother and fathers' love and having a hard time doing both roles. I shall be glad if your teachings really enhance my wife and return to her motherhood rather than lead a Single Spiritual Life leaving the fate of two innocents whom we have given birth to to their FATE a Single Parent raising.
What do you think "Being Mother is more important or leaving them for self realization is of more importance in LIfe Sadguru ?

Ravi Kumar Mariserla

6 years 2 months ago

Thank you Sadhguru. You are an inspiration for me.

5 years 2 months ago

To all those who wish to nurture the bond of motherhood right from pregnancy, here's an old news that can be new, if you're still unaware. Sadhguru has introduced "Isha Thaimai"(Thaimai means motherhood), Yoga Programme for Pregnant Mothers. Its on full swing in Coimbatore. And in other places at Tamil Nadu, classes are conducted at regular intervals. Those interested, can ring up their local centre to know more.

6 years 2 months ago

feeling like as though iam in the initiation day of isha yoga class...when we do isha yoga we have to be definitely inclusive..otherwise sadhguru is HAVING HIS OWN WAYS to mould us to be inclusive......

Gratitude and love,