What Judging Others Says About You

Sadhguru looks at how our judgements about others reflect the way we think, and how situations need to be judged, not people.
What Judging Others Says About You

Questioner: Sometimes in my life I feel I can read people a bit, but I feel it’s just my ego judging others. How can I know the difference between the two? And even when I do, should I act upon that?

Sadhguru: Most people have a very deep misunderstanding about being effective in the world. They think that by knowing other people, they can be very effective. The idea is that if you know others, you can control the situation in some way. This is not true. If you know what you call “myself” right now, you can become very effective in the world.

Everyone can make judgments, but those who have developed the urge to grow should stop judging others.

If you make an effort to read something, maybe sometimes you will, because after all you have a mind and you can judge, but what will you do with these judgments? Today, human society is such that whatever we see – whether it is a tree or a rock or water or anything – we want to see how to use this. We can't just see anything simply the way it is and leave it there.

This is not just about nature, this goes for people also. Once you get into this mindset, you are always looking at how to make use of these people. This is a serious misunderstanding that has happened in the world. Things were made to be used, and people, to be loved. But the misunderstanding is so deeply ingrained that people are being used and things are being loved. You have seen people divorcing their wives or husbands. How many people do you see divorcing their money? We are using people and loving things.

Addressing the deepest core

When you look at someone's body first, immediately your mind will say this person is beautiful or ugly, young or old. All this will occur in the mind in a split second. If you try to judge the person’s behavior or speech, there will be all kinds of judgments: you like them, you dislike them, you hate them, you love them. So don't look at someone’s body, mind, or emotions. You address the deepest core in this person to start with. First, you bow down to the seed of life which exists in this being. Whatever is the source of life, that is what you refer to as God, isn't it? The source or seed of life exists in every one of us. First, you bow to this. Your first involvement is with this. Only afterwards you meet the other things in the person.

This is a deeper understanding of life, that first when you meet a person, you bow down to the source of life within.

Body or mind may not be okay, but you have no issue about that. This person may not be of your culture, or you have likes and dislikes about him. It is okay, because you have first addressed the fundamental source of life. This is not a judgment, this is not a reading. This is a deeper understanding of life, that first when you meet a person, you bow down to the source of life within. With that, you have no conflict or judgment.

No human being is constant. Today, someone may be something that you don't like. Tomorrow morning he or she may be in a wonderful mood. But if you think you have read and made an impression of that person in the past, you will miss that person the way he or she is right now. Once you get into that, it is a trap.

Judging others reflects the way you think

Your judgments have nothing to do with the other. Your judgments reflect the way you think. When the mind is on endlessly, it keeps making judgments about everyone and everything in the world. Even if your mind makes judgments about other people, don't attach any importance to it. Once you start making judgments, invariably, there are only two basic judgments – this is good, this is bad. Everything that you consider as good, naturally you are drawn to it and get attached to it. Everything that you consider as bad, you get repelled from it and negative emotions will flow. So there is no need to judge others. You just have to judge situations. You don't have to judge people.

All dissatisfaction, all bitterness, all negativity comes out of our own limitations, not because of the situation. Realizing this is maturity. Everyone can make judgments, but those who have developed the urge to grow should stop judging others. Otherwise, for every small step you take forward, you take 100 steps backward. You may not realize it immediately, but you will experience it after a few days or months.

So, whether it is a peach or an apple or a person or a tree or any experience, just experience it for what it is. It will go very deep into you. That is when you know life.

Editor’s Note: “Mystic’s Musings” includes more of Sadhguru’s wisdom and insights on human nature and the possibilities and pitfalls of the mind. Read the free sample [pdf] or purchase the ebook.

A version of this article was originally published in Isha Forest Flower March 2015. Download as PDF on a “name your price, no minimum” basis or subscribe to the print version.

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5 years 4 months ago

Namaskaram Sadhguru even before judging somebody knowing the plan In advance pinching with information and on top of judging , in these state being inclusive they choose to talk less , I mean these electronic communication became so famous, this bewilders me, could you please throw some light on it Sadhguru

5 years 4 months ago

i have realized my limitations that if i am experiencing any thing as bitter,bad it is due to my own way of perceiving thing. i need to change. My pranam to every body.

5 years 3 months ago

I haven't spent time probing people and their persona. But when people compel me to do so due to their behaviour/words, I look at what's favourable and unfavourable. Then I decide what I need to do.

5 years 3 months ago

Once it happened so that I was in a hurry and a bit angry too because I had had some 'misinformation' from a person at an information desk in ashram. I wanted to let him know that he was wrong. As I neared the desk with a big face, I started off with my mouth open "Anna, what..." and before I finished "...did you tell me?", he greeted me with a "Namaskaram!" I was stunned and then, responded back with a "Namaskaram". THIS INSTANTANEOUSLY MADE ME SMALL, BUT BROUGHT A WIDE SMILE ON MY FACE. After I told him how I found him wrong, he let me know that it wasn't misinformation, but a misinterpretation from my side. Wonderful people, wonderful experiences!

5 years ago

Wow Sadhguru you never cease to amaze me! So true that people are using people and loving things/objects. I realized this in big way over the past couple years. My life has been opening up to me in ways I never thought! Thank you and have a great day.
Matthew Jakobczak

5 years ago

I naturally used to do this before but when I tried to do this consciously, sometimes it gets awkward. Women think I am flirting or have fallen in love with them and men think I am weird. lol. Not all the time ofcourse. The reason I said this is because of a similar situation as the centepide story. When actions come naturally, they are genuine and beautiful bu sometimes when you try to do such things conciously it is not quite the same making you wonder if you should stop doing that or not. For example anyone that enjoys singing knows that the very first time when you realize the meaning and the depth of certain poetry in a song and you are singing along to it, it is magic. It is beautiful and real but then if you want to do it again, it is alittle bit like acting and loses something. Ofcourse I am not saying not to do things conciously but how to get rid of this problem. I think by more meditation and going deeper within yourself you will find the right seat within yourself where you can be both genuine and natural and concious.

4 years 7 months ago

This has happened with me as well. Exactly when singing! If I "try" to bring the magic like I did the first time I fail. The difference I feel is the first time I had no expectations on how magical it would be but the second time I try to meet the expectations that I have created for myself. I think i lose the genuiness through which I sang. If I try, I fail.

2 years 10 months ago

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the best things about God are. You know the wаy much you like ⅼistening to people say һow sensible
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c᧐llectively about how great hhe is.? Daddy answered.