Do Children With Disabilities Suffer?
Q: Why are some babies born with disabilities and have to suffer a lot?
Sadhguru: They don’t suffer; only the parents suffer. They just come differently. You think they are deformed – that’s your idea. Just because they are not like someone else, you are making such a judgment. Whether you call them handicapped, or today, in socially correct terms, differently-capable children, whatever names you give them, they are just different. Maybe they cannot do what so many other children can do, but they don’t suffer. It is you with your comparison who makes them suffer. Otherwise, by themselves, they would be quite fine. Parents suffer because they are looking at someone else’s children, “My child is not like that, my child will not get the first rank,” and they are crying. This is just social nonsense.
If you cannot live with this, you should have the courage to leave it to nature. If you leave it to nature, survival of the fittest will happen. Do you have the courage to do that? No. If they die, you will cry; if they live, then also you cry – what is this? If everything about them is intact but they still don’t fulfill your wishes, if they don’t live the way you expect them to live – still you cry. So what’s the big deal, anyway you cry. It’s alright. Learn to laugh a little bit. Life happens in different ways.
No one is miserable because of a disability. A disease or a disability fundamentally does not cause misery. It creates a certain physical situation. Misery is caused only by you, no one else but you because you are unconscious of what you are doing. The basic faculties in you – your mind and body – are not in your control. That is why you are causing misery.
Situations are happening, some the way you like, some the way you do not like; some situations you can handle, some situations you cannot handle. This is how life happens. But misery is caused by you, not by any situations. Every situation that you cannot handle, if you want to make yourself miserable, you have a lot of opportunity.
Anyway, there is no need to make a case of a small percentage of people who are disabled. What about all the people who have got all their four limbs intact and are still miserable? Please look at your life and see, four limbs are intact for you, everything is right for you, but still, how many moments in 24 hours are you truly joyful? If at all if you are, very few, isn’t it? That is an unfortunate way to live.
If you just see, some people come with two hands, some people come with one hand, some people will come with big brains, some people come with small brains, it is all a part of nature and if we do the best that we can do with them, there would be no misery in disability. If you allow your humanity to function rather than your prejudice, there would be no misery in disability.
Editor’s Note: Download the free ebook Inspire Your Child, Inspire the World for more of Sadhguru’s wisdom on parenting.