Dealing With Self-doubt and Growth Pangs
Regina Cassandra: While growing up, there were a lot of questions in my head in terms of myself, my capabilities and my abilities. Self-doubt is definitely an issue that I and a lot of kids have to face and overcome. How does one overcome self-doubt, especially as a youngster?
Sadhguru: Namaskaram, Regina! It’s good to doubt yourself. I know everyone says, “Believe in yourself!” I would say, “Please doubt yourself.” If something goes right or wrong, first always look, maybe it’s you who caused this. If it’s not, then look at others. The so-called confident idiots are stepping on everyone and walking. Doubt will bring sense into you. You’ll walk gently on the planet.
And when we say growing up, there are many dimensions to a human being – there are physiological, psychological, emotional and other dimensions of growth. Most of the time, we measure growth physiologically, and the next possibility is psychologically. We only discover the other dimensions when life situations challenge us. Our level of emotional and energetic growth, as well as our growth as a being, are only revealed to most of us when life throws very challenging situations at us. Most human beings will be surprised at their own reactions to life situations.
With regards to physiological and psychological growth, the body is a very tangible element, so it grows at a certain pace. But the psychological dimension of who you are is not such a tangible process. It is more flexible, mobile and nebulous. So it should be able to grow well ahead of your physiological process. If people are having growth pangs, it is mainly because their psychological growth is not at least one step ahead of their physiological growth.
Though the same things have happened to billions of people on this planet forever, it still looks like they are happening for the first time in the universe. People are surprised and shocked. This is just because their psychological growth is behind their physiological growth.
It is very important in a society that we create a situation where every child is psychologically at least one step ahead of their physiological growth. If you do this one thing in your life, you will see, whether it is adolescence or middle age or old age, you will not be surprised by anything – you know how to deal with it and handle it. There will be no shocks and upheavals in your life because of simple processes.
Right now, people are living in such a way that toddlers are having diaper problems, teenagers are having hormonal issues, middle-aged people are having mid-life crisis, and in old age, people are of course suffering. Tell me one dimension of life which people are not seeing as a problem! Life is not a problem. Life is a certain process. The question is, have you prepared yourself for the process or not?
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