How To Get Rid of Strong Sexual Desires?

Questioner: How do I get rid of my strong sexual desires? 

Sadhguru: We are always thinking in terms of how to get rid of something. You cannot get rid of anything forcefully. If you try to forcefully drop something, it will pop up in some other way and some other kind of perversion will come up within you. If you try to give it up, it will rule your mind and consciousness completely. But if you find something deeper than what you know right now, that which is of lesser significance will just fall off. Do you see, people who are deeply involved in some intellectual activity, they would rather read a book than have sex. 

The reason why you are running after sexuality is because that is the biggest pleasure you know right now. If someone tells you “It is bad, give it up,” are you going to give it up? But if you taste something bigger than that, then does someone have to tell you to give it up? It will just fall by itself. So you just have to invest some time to do the necessary things so that a bigger possibility becomes a reality for you. If you access something much larger, much more pleasurable and much more ecstatic, then naturally small pleasures will drop. You have not given it up, it is just that you do not do that anymore because you have found something much bigger for yourself. 

This has happened with so many aspects of your life. Whatever meant the world to you when you were a child, those things dropped off because you found something that you thought was higher. The same holds for this. If you find something of a much deeper intensity, of a much deeper pleasure and ecstasy for yourself, then these things will drop off. 

Sexuality is just a small part of you. People have become overly sexual only because of stupid morality, because they are trying to forcefully drop it. What you call as a man or a woman is just a question of a small physiological difference to serve a certain natural process. Why have we attached so much significance to one body part? No body part is worth giving that kind of importance to. If any part has to get that kind of significance, maybe the brains would qualify, not the genitals. 

Unfortunately, it has gotten all reversed because of foolish teachings everywhere saying, “You must be pure, you must not think about this.” People have become full of that and are totally messed up. If people look at life the way it is, sexuality would just fall into its rightful place – just a small place in your life; it would not be such a large aspect. That is how it should be. That is how it is in every creature. Animals are not thinking about it all the time. When it is there in them, it is there, otherwise they are not constantly thinking who is a man, who is a woman. It is only human beings who are just stuck with it. They are not able to drop it for a moment simply because stupid teachings and morality, which have nothing to do with life, have entered them. 

If they look at life the way it is, most people would grow out of it in a very short time. Many people can grow out of it without ever getting into it. Everything is distorted and magnified because of improper focus on life, that’s all. Otherwise, you would see a large percentage of people would not even be interested in it, or their interest would be very casual. It would not be as significant as it is now. 

 

Editor’s Note: Sadhguru talks about Tantra and sexuality, demystifying common myths and misconceptions about this misunderstood topic.