When life swings between success and setbacks, most of us wish we could find that sweet spot where we feel neither too high nor too low. One seeker asked Sadhguru exactly this: how to stay detached from outcomes and feel neutral through both good days and bad days. His response challenged the entire premise: “Why do you want to be neutral?”
Question: Namaskaram, Sadhguru. There are days when I feel on cloud nine – very happy and proud of what I have achieved. And there are days when, despite working hard, things don’t work out as expected, and I feel very low. How can I stay detached from outcomes in both situations so that I do not have to suffer? I want to feel neutral in good days and bad days.
Sadhguru: Neutral is a bad place to be. If you do not engage the gear, you will not go anywhere, in any vehicle. Neutral means you stay stationary – when you raise the throttle, the engine revs, but you do not move forward. You must engage the gear. Why do you want to be neutral?
If you want to be detached from everything, you must die. You do not want entanglement. But if you become detached, there will be no involvement. Without involvement, you cannot know any aspect of life or experience anything. Can you experience another human being, the food that you eat, or a beautiful atmosphere without involvement?
How profoundly you are involved – that is how profound the experience of life is. “No, I want to be detached. I’ll practice detachment.” If you practice detachment, you are finished.
These ideas about detachment come from people saying Krishna taught it. Do not listen to people’s words. Look at Krishna’s life. Does he show involvement or detachment? He shows absolute involvement in anything and everything, in whichever way possible.
Detachment is death. Yes, you do not want to be entangled, but without involvement, it is like death. When you eat food, only if you are involved do you know all its aspects. Without involvement, it is like eating Styrofoam.
Let us say you went out and someone told you that you are the most wonderful human being on the planet, so you are on cloud nine. Then you came home, and people there told you who you really are. The cloud melts away.
A cloud is not a reliable vehicle for travel. If you jump off a plane and expect to land on a cloud, you will fall right through. Dreamy minds have always thought they would float on a cloud because they think angels are floating on clouds.
You want to float on the cloud, but it will not get you anywhere. The ground is a good place to walk on. Does that mean to say you should be neutral, whatever happens? No.
Only a fool will think that everything they do must happen the way they want on the outside. But within yourself, everything you want must happen the way you want. If I work with people, with one person it will happen one way; with another person it will not happen; with someone else it will happen differently. This is how it happens. I am speaking of situations, not necessarily people.
One situation will work, another will not; some will work better than expected, others will simply flounder. This is the nature of action. Only a fool will think everything should happen the way they want on the outside. Everything should happen the way you want within yourself, because here there is no opposition. If everything happens within you the way you want, what will be your choice? Bliss.
If everything within you happens the way you want, you will keep yourself blissful. To be blissful, to be joyful is not a goal – it is the necessary ambience. There is a difference between enjoying something and being joyful. If you are joyful, you are doing whatever you are doing. For your body and your brain to work well, you must be blissful. Then action will happen in a better way. But “better” does not mean everything will happen the way you want.
If everything is happening the way you want in your life, obviously you are not doing anything significant. If many things are not happening the way you want, it means you are taking up challenges in life. Some things happen; some things do not happen – that is how life should be.
Everything happening your way means you are not being challenged in life. If fifty-one percent goes your way, you have the controlling stake. If one hundred percent goes your way, it means you have no one around you. If you push for one hundred percent to be your way, everyone will be gone.
You must always be blissful by your own nature – not because of what is happening or what is not happening. We will do everything in the best possible way we can. Some things work; some things do not work. If it works, I am blissful; if it does not work, I am also blissful. This is not neutral. This is the exuberance of life.
Life is only worthwhile if it is exuberant. Otherwise, it is a complete drag. Human life is not easy, but when you are exuberantly involved, every small thing becomes worthwhile. Without exuberance, even waking up in the morning is not a simple task. Then you have to brush your teeth, use the toilet, eat, work, come home, eat and sleep again – you have to do the same things for many years until you die of boredom.
When your mind becomes a marketplace, you cannot be exuberant. What should be transcendental becomes transactional. No transaction will happen in such a way that only you win. Sometimes you win and make a profit; sometimes you lose.
Once you make the fundamental process of life transactional, this happens to you: If you make a profit, you go to cloud nine. And if you make a loss, your cloud will fall. But if the cloud falls, it turns into rain, and that is good for you.
The important thing is that your experience of life is not determined by the transactions that you perform in the world. When it comes to transactions, we do our best. Not everything works, and not everything should work. If everything happens your way, where does this leave everyone else? Some things go your way, some things my way, some things someone else’s way. This is how the world should be.
If you are bubbly and exuberant, every simple act is worthwhile. Otherwise, even if you do the greatest thing, it feels like death. Once there is no involvement and exuberance within you, everything feels burdensome. If you are not fully alive, life is burdensome. Fully alive – fantastic. Dead – good. But half alive is torturous. Do not be half alive.
If you go out and nothing works today, you are free. If something works, it means you are committed. If it does not work – whether it is romance, business, or something else – you are free. There may be conditions or setbacks, but essentially, all the arrangements we are making in life are only to make us feel good.
Money, wealth, success, jewelry, clothing, whatever it may be – you want to feel good. But if you are already blissed out, what is your problem?
