Character is often touted as a virtue, with figures of speech such as “hard work builds character” emphasizing its importance. Yet, in his inimitable style, Sadhguru turns the point on its head. Read on as he helps us take a step back to examine what character is, and whether we should strive to firmly establish it in the first place.
Questioner: I come from a humble family. I really found my calling in helping people find their true potential, improve their mindset, and transform into a person who follows their passion and builds a business around it. I want to help all the people who were like me, lost and not knowing what drives them. What kind of character do I need to build in terms of my own improvement, holistically, so that I can serve people and, in turn, make myself happy as well?
Sadhguru: On the surface, if we look at ourselves, there are no two people who like exactly the same things. Why is it that one person likes one thing, while another person likes something completely different? It is exposure and cultivation. Most of the molding is unconscious. Who is influencing you in this way?
Parents desperately tried. But parental influence has been diminishing in the last 20 to 25 years’ time. There was a time when a grandmother was the biggest influence. Now, who is listening to their grandmother? They will consult Google. So, there is a diminishing influence of people who care most for you – however right or wrong they may be.
Today, children are being influenced by others whom they do not know, whether it is on the street, online, in school, or wherever else they may be going. If we do not handle this huge flux carefully and responsibly, it can be a disaster because people who do not genuinely care for you are trying to mold you.
What comes at us largely is a consequence of the times in which we live. What we make of it is one hundred percent ours.
Do the people who care for you have a perspective about life? Not necessarily. Parents, almost always, cared for you enormously. Their caring was good when you were a little baby. When you were an infant, your mother was very nice. When you started running around, your father taught you how to jump and climb, this and that, which was very nice. By the time you were 12 or 13, what they were talking looked childish to you, though they thought you were the child. And this is becoming even more so today because of the level of exposure children are having from a very early age.
Is it good or bad? I never look at life in terms of good and bad. What comes at us largely is a consequence of the times in which we live. What we make of it is one hundred percent ours. What you are referring to as “character” are the qualities that should guide you.
If you ask any human being genuinely, they want the highest level of pleasantness. There are four aspects of you – body, mind, emotions, and energies. All these four must be pleasant. If the body becomes pleasant, we call it health; if it becomes very pleasant, we call it pleasure. If the mind becomes pleasant, we call it peace; if it becomes very pleasant, we call it joy.
If your emotions become pleasant, we call it love; if they become very pleasant, we call it compassion. If your energies become pleasant, we call it bliss; if they become very pleasant, we call it ecstasy. Creating pleasantness around you is subject to various people and things, but pleasantness of the body, mind, emotion, and energy is one hundred percent your business.
Do not try to build a character. If you become a very strong character, you will become a caricature. When you were a child, if someone around you had a very strong character, you looked at them and thought they were a caricature, or a creature. They were a different order of development. When someone shows such a strong character, no one can bear with that nonsense.
Creating pleasantness around you is subject to various people and things, but pleasantness of the body, mind, emotion, and energy is one hundred percent your business.
If you craft your character in a certain way, you will inevitably expect another person’s character to be in a certain way too. You expect them to fit into your template of character; otherwise, they will not pass. Do not do that to yourself or anyone else.
Do not become a character. If you are a joyful, sensible human being, you will do the best you can. None of us have come the same way; our competence and capabilities vary. You may not be able to do what someone else can, but that does not matter. You do your best.
When you are joyful by your own nature, you are not an impediment in your life; you are never the issue. This is one thing to make sure: that you are not the issue in your life. There are thousands of other issues. The more issues you have, the better it is because if you have a lot of issues, that means you are active in the world. If you have no issues, you are probably sleeping. The moment you become stressful, tense, miserable, or angry, you have become the issue. Just take care of this one thing; then you do not need a character – you can just be like life. You are life. Life is the director of all characters.
Your body evolved to how it is now. You were not born like this. Whatever you eat becomes you. Why? Because life is throbbing in you. There is some framework of genetics and evolution, but the rest is being done by the intelligence that you call life. Keeping this life in full force is the most important thing you need to do. Do not build a character.
When you are joyful by your own nature, you are not an impediment in your life.
If your body is full on, it will behave one way. If only your intellect is full on, you will behave another way. If only your emotions are on, you will behave yet another way. But if this life is full on, it will not do anything life-negative. Life is the only insurance you have. Once you are dead, what is the point of you having a hundred crore insurance? You are an asset to someone else. I have not made any insurance, so no one expects, “When will Sadhguru go? We will get a thousand crores.” There is no such expectation because there is no insurance.
A serious mistake that a large percentage of humanity has made is to think we have to create something. No, it is already there. For example, a mango tree is not trying to manufacture coconuts; its only aspiration is to become a full-fledged mango tree. There may be many impediments – maybe there is no water, or there is a hungry cow, or something else – but the tree’s only aspiration is to become a full-fledged mango tree.
Your aspiration is to become a full-fledged life. Everyone’s life will find expression in their own way. As long as they are not a constipated but a full-on life, it is fine.
