Loving the Irksome - Part I

In the first part of our series on Loving the Irksome, we take a look at what Sadhguru has to say about people who irritate us and how to deal with them.
Loving the Irksome

It is quite common that we come across people in our daily lives who manage to rub us the wrong way. Interacting with people who irritate us can be quite tiresome, not to mention stressful. At the same time, there is no way to avoid them completely.

In the first part of our series on Loving the Irksome, we take a look at what Sadhguru has to say about people who irritate us and how to deal with them.


How to love people who irritate you? Don’t pretend to love them, just understand that they are irritating you. Why are they irritating you? Simply because, they are not the way you expect them to be. They are not the way you want them to be. And in the same breath you also claim that you believe in God. If you believe in God, then the person who irritates you also happens to be a creation of God, and he seems to be such a masterpiece that he can just irritate the hell out of you, isn’t it? So, don’t deceive yourself. Just see irritation is happening because you have already decided what is right and what is wrong. You have decided, "This is the right way to be." If they’re some other way, they will irritate you first, then you will get angry, then you will hate them, then you will want to kill them. This is a natural progression simply because you are expecting everybody in the world to be like you. If everybody in the world were like you, could you be here? In your own home, if there was one more person like you, could you live in that house? Would it be possible? It’s very good that everybody in the world is the way they are.

Any human being that you take here of this whole mass of people, they’re absolutely unique, isn’t it? Yes? They’re absolutely unique. The person who is sitting next to you right now, if you look at them, you will see there is no other human being like this person anywhere in this planet. There never was one, there never will be one. This is an absolutely unique human being. If you recognize that there is only one like this, it is such precious material, how can it irritate you? Just turn around and see, people sitting next to you are absolutely unique human beings. There isn’t another one like that, and it is such a miracle for you that today you are sitting next to this human being who is absolutely unique. Never before, never again on this planet. Where is the question of irritation? You’re blind, that is why you are irritated. You’re simply blind to life. You have not opened your eyes and looked at life, that is why you can be irritated. Otherwise how can anybody irritate you?

Next week, in the concluding part of this series, we will focus further on the importance of nurturing understanding in the various relationships we form with the people around us. 

x1brett @Flickr

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7 years 8 months ago

yeah, most of the times I was blind in my life!!..failed to see what is true!!...Tfailed to look inside myself!!The whole life I lived as a blind person!..Oh Sadhguru please show me the way to be blissful and not being irritated by anything instead being more and more blissful at each n every moment..

7 years 8 months ago

simply laughed my way through reading this article.love sadhguru's sense of humour.i just wish these masterpieces were lesser in society!!..........so we could get to admire them one at a time!!!........anyway doing surya namaskaram keeps me absolutely cool.........understanding them helps a lot better.what can i say i've been absolutely annoying to close family memmbers before isha yoga.............so i kind of see myself in them!!!!

7 years 8 months ago


7 years 6 months ago

sadhguru can be such a funny man for his humor is what really keeps me inspired by him and i have to admit i am guilty after reading this for i myself am irritated by people who apparently i have yet to understand why but still this is great information here master. something that all of us can live by.

7 years 6 months ago

I wonder how Sadhguru simply explains every thing and immediate shift of thinking happens within me. The more I get to know, the more I want to know..... I have fallen in love with the simplicity with which Sadhguru shares his wisdom on each topic....

7 years 2 months ago

What if you're ready to accommodate & the other person is not. If someone is so adamant, I have learnt that only time can help. I have tried with patience, with anger & every possible way ...

6 years 3 months ago

I am coming back to this article because I am surprised that (nearly) no one other than my own family is capable of irritating the hell out of me now, that is, after isha yoga. But why does family irritate me the most, i wonder? It's close knit, but at the same time, i yell at them for certain things. It kind of happens like a cycle, they do something (really silly, not even worth mentioning) - it irritates me - i yell - the moment is over. The same repeats in the next days. Nothing really new at all to over-react. I know for sure that it's a problem with me. There have been moments when I applied the tools from the Inner Engineering program and handled these very same situations fantastically well : not getting irritated at all in the first place, thus breaking the cycle, although the family did the very same things. Felt free during those moments and got soaked in gratitude! ..time for my next IE program, I guess. I came back here looking for an answer for now :(

5 years 9 months ago

We stay in joint family, i am the elderly son and we are three sons to our parents.
one brother is working as an mechanic and other brother feels he is working but he is not. He trys couple of business and ends up in making huge debts. now he is having 30 lakhs of debts and now my parents and my brother looking for my help. I always helped him, but he is not changing himself. and doesnot realise what i am doing. Since he is married and he got a child, even i cannot ask them to go out of my house. How do i come out of this irritation.

5 years 9 months ago

Just a Big 'Thankyou' . Needed this learning ,which came at the absolute right moment for me. Especially because it has been explained with such Simplicity.

4 years 5 months ago

I believe the best thing to do is try to help them in any way you can. Either physically, monetarily or any in other way. If you cant, then atleast the best thing you could do is pray for them. One needs to make sure we shouldnt get too attached emotionally which can drive us down. Being detached doesnt mean not being concerned either. So help them in what ever way possible, because it is your own karma which made you to be born in the family.