There is a deeper question behind it, and the life within you is constantly trying to find a solution to it. What you are asking is, “What is the nature of my existence?” Or, to put it in usual spiritual parlance, “Who am I?” People have been asking the same question forever. Does it make sense to you to ask someone else who you are? But that is what everyone is doing in the name of spirituality. If you are looking for the source of who you are out there, no one can help you. We can give you nice stories if you want, but stories will not take you an inch closer to reality. You can entertain yourself. You can speak with great authority about the stories that you have read. It is one of the biggest professions on the planet. People go on repeating something that was written in a book, again and again. Why do we not have the sense to understand that it is not taking us any closer to the truth? It does not take any enlightenment to see this, it just takes a little bit of sense. But that is the problem. The world is full of good people, not sensible people.
The First Step Towards Knowing
If you really want to find an answer, the first and foremost step you need to take is to clearly see, “I do not know.” If the pain of not knowing tears you apart, knowing is not far away. I could tell you a long story about God being a coconut, how he is right up there and full of sweetness, liquid inside and solid outside, and so many things. This may sound ridiculous, but I can make a nice story out of it if you want. Whether you believe me or disbelieve me, it does not get you any closer to reality. If I tell you a fantastic story about what God is, however beautiful the story is, it does not get you an inch closer to reality. So, what is it that you are looking for? Are you looking for entertainment or are you really seeking?
The most fundamental step that you need to take to know your self is to make yourself into a 100% “I do not know.” People have not realized the immensity of “I do not know.” Because of this, they are corrupting “I do not know” with all kinds of stupid belief systems. If you deepen your “I do not know,” knowing is not far away because what you are seeking to know is not sitting up on a coconut tree. The idea of God has entered your mind only as what is the source of creation. When we say creation, we are obviously talking about physical things, like trees, birds, animals, human beings, planets, and stars. So, what is the closest part of creation for you? Obviously yourself.
Where to Find God?
When you were born, you were so small. Now you have become this tall and big. Did you go for weekly stretching to make yourself a little taller and bigger? How did it happen? You might have provided raw material from outside, but the source of creation is functioning from within you. Whatever you refer to as the Creator or God is functioning from within you. If God was sitting on the coconut tree or in heaven, I would not have bothered. But when the source of creation is sitting within you and you miss it, it is a tragedy.
Our whole effort is to somehow see that people do not cause this tragedy to themselves that when the very source of creation is throbbing within themselves, they never even notice it. I cannot live with that. If you want to know it, you will not know it by dissection. The only way is to turn inward because the seat of experience is within you. When the seat of your experience is within you, and you try to do anything outside, it is like trying to have lunch through your ears. You will see how difficult it is. But if you did it the right way, you can do it effortlessly. That is how difficult spirituality is. You are trying to do it somewhere outside, that is why it is so difficult. If you turn inwards, it is simple and natural. It is the way life is.