The Importance of Marriage - Understanding the Institution of Marriage

Why does the institution of marriage exist, and what role does it play in human life and societies? Sadhguru answers a question about marriage and divorce.
What is the significance of marriage in life?

Questioner: My question is about marriage and divorce. I’ve been married for 25 years. There were many occasions where I felt like divorce, but then it has been a wonderful experience for me when I really fell in love. But what I see today, many youngsters don’t want to marry, and those who are married are getting divorced. Would you like to throw some light on this situation, Sadhguru?

The Institution of Marriage

Sadhguru: What you only intended, they are successful with! You need to understand the institution of marriage. One aspect of it is about bringing a certain sanctity to the simple basic needs that every human being has. There are physical needs, psychological needs, economic needs, emotional needs, and social needs – a variety of needs. To fulfill all these needs, we set up an institution called marriage where all this can be conducted in a sensible manner. Marriage is to bring some organization, some aesthetic, some stability, because man and woman coming together naturally used to bring fresh life.

You do not have to talk about marriage and divorce in the same breath as if they come together.

The nature of human life, the nature of human offspring is such that because of the possibilities that a human being carries, compared to any other creature, it is the most helpless life and needs the maximum amount of support. You could leave a puppy on the street – as long as it gets food, it grows up into a good dog. But not so with human beings – they need not just physical support but a variety of supports, and above all, a stable situation. When they are 18, they will debate whether they should get married or not, because the physical body is asking for freedom. At that time, everyone questions if marriage is really needed, and whether we can just live whichever way we want. But when you were three years of age, you valued a stable marriage immensely – isn’t it so? Not yours – your parents’.

When you were three, four years of age, you were 100% for marriage. When you become 45, 50, again you are 100% for marriage. Between 18 and 35, you are questioning the whole institution.

If at the time when the physical body is dominant, you give in to it, you will question every institution. This is hormone-fired freedom. Your intelligence has been hijacked by hormones, so you question the fundamentals of everything. I am not saying marriage is the thing, but do you have a better alternative? We have not come up with a better alternative, because a stable situation is a must for a child.



If your whims and fancies change, if your emotions change, do not get into such situations. It is neither compulsory nor is it necessary for everyone to get married and have children. But if you get into it, and especially if you have children, you must understand, it is a minimum 20-year project. That is if they do well. If they don’t do well, it is a lifelong project. If you want to get into such projects, at least 20 years, there must be a commitment to create a stable situation. Otherwise, you should not get into such projects. Do not get into a project, drop it halfway and walk away.

Marriage is about Choosing Consciously

If you do not like that, do not start the project – go for short-term projects. They have their benefits and they have their problems. It is your choice, but at least choose consciously. You do not have to get married because everyone is getting married. You do not have to talk about marriage and divorce in the same breath as if they come together. No one thought of divorce in this country until recently.

If it so happens something went entirely wrong between two people, there is no way to fix it, and they have to separate, it is unfortunate, but it happens. You do not have to plan it at the time of wedding.

Editor’s Note: Sadhguru speaks about the nature of human relationships in “Compulsiveness to Consciousness.” Available at Isha Downloads.

Editor’s Note: This article is based on an excerpt from the February 2015 issue of Forest Flower. Pay what you want and download. (set ‘0’ for free). Print subscriptions are also available.

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5 years 4 months ago

Child marriage not even considered as child marriage any more because the awareness with which children are bought, having a partner is OK to ward off many many un expected happenings either physically, moral ethics, family relations and yeah to keep the roots of Bharat to the fullest shambho

5 years 4 months ago

Divorce has become the latest fashion, when people mock getting married as teenager, how the same ones appreciate dating and 'stuff' at same age as modernization..?? It is the same category which promotes should be an unavoidable painful accident not something like convenience.

5 years 4 months ago

The kind of personalities we are creating within ourselves naturally divorce is the choice, its you you you and only you

5 years 1 month ago

I think he means that we may fantasize on getting married when we're just kids and it will ingrain in our mind as we age. We hold that fantasy through adulthood that we end up marrying. For example, a little girl might dream on meeting her prince and when shes an adult, she ends up marrying thinking its going to be all good. In the end, it isnt all good for the majority of people.

5 years 1 month ago

I totally agree with Sadhguru. Dont marry just because everyones getting married. And so what if i want to wear black at the day of my wedding? Not gonna marry anyways cuz its too common & too popular. I want something different that can unite us with nature. Maybe say our vows in the presence of nature such as next to a waterfall or mountains or even at sunset. We just wanna be different- not do it the way society thinks marriage should be.

4 years 10 months ago

a 3 year child needs both mum and dad which means you supported the marriage 100%