You Got to Die
Thirty years ago, on that evening when I shook myself out of a flood of ecstasy and realization, I thought, ‘This is it, this is so simple. I am going to set the whole world on fire.’ Since then, very slowly but steadily, the world has been trying to humble me to reduce the size of my geographical boundaries. I am not complaining about the world. I think as life comes, internally there is no question, it has come in the best possible way to me. Even externally, it has come in the best possible way to me, so I cannot complain. But still, it intrigues me, it bothers me, I have still not learnt a lesson in thirty years. Though I have started speaking to people with reduced goals, within myself I still burn with the passion, ‘Why can’t it happen to everybody?’ Because logically, I cannot find a single reason why everybody cannot have it. I cannot find a single reason in my intelligence as to why it is not possible.
There are many glorious names to this which are out of people’s understanding. People call this ‘enlightenment’ - that means, of course, it is beyond you. People call this ‘God-realization’ - it is up in heaven, you cannot touch it. People call it simply ‘self-realization’ - a more humble description. Or, it is just an ‘awakening’. I call it a reminder. You can be reminded in many ways. Tomorrow morning, you have to wake up at a certain time. You could be reminded by yourself; if you cannot, you can have an alarm bell which beeps. Otherwise, somebody will beat a drum, or somebody will kick you awake. The choice is yours, but you could be awakened, or we can remind you. It is just a reminder, it is not an achievement. It is not about going somewhere.
This happened…a woman was on a river bank. It looked so beautiful - the expanse of the river and the other side of the bank. Then she noticed there was another woman on the other side. So she called out and said, ‘How do I get to the other side?’ That woman looked up and down the river looking for a solution, then she looked at her and said, ‘You are on the other side.’
In a Sunday school, a teacher wanted to inspire the children to aim for the highest. In Sunday school, in a church school, the highest is heaven of course, not God. So the teacher asked the children, ‘If I give my wealth away to the church and serve the church, will I go to heaven?’ The children in unison said, ‘No!’ Then he asked, ‘If I serve the poor, wash the leper’s feet and wipe the tears of a child’s face, will I go to heaven?’ The children said, ‘No!’ Then he asked, ‘If I love my wife, love my children, take care of my family, do my duty to my nation, will I go to heaven?’ They said, ‘No!’ Then he asked, ‘Then what should I do to go to heaven?’ Little Tommy from the backbench said, ‘You got to die.’
That is all it is, you got to die. This is the only problem. It is just a reminder that what you think as ‘yourself’ is a make-believe projection of your mind. If you kill it, then everything is right here, life is a flood of ecstasy. You don’t have to kill the world; you just have to kill ‘this one’. You have no business to kill the body because you didn’t make it. You have every right to kill all that you have created; you have no right to kill what the Creator has created. Nobody has any business to kill anything that you cannot create. But the person that you call as ‘myself’ is all your making. If you just kill that one guy, everything, the whole universe is yours.
This is a tradeoff - me or the cosmos? One who makes the deal is not asking for currency, just you. This is all the tradeoff is, this is all the whole business of enlightenment is. ‘God-realization’, ‘awakening’, ‘reminder’ - whatever you call it, this is all it is. Just kill what you have created; the Creator’s creation will explode within you.
Love and Grace,